When You Want to be a Mommy, but it’s Not Happening

Playing with baby dolls.  That’s the first time you remember wanting to be a Mommy.  The Mommy.  And like every other little girl with a baby doll, you knew when you grew up that you would have a little girl who would look at you and call you Mommy.  You were going to meet Prince Charming, get married and have 3-4 children.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.  Instead, you got married at 35. You knew my biological clock was ticking, but your husband convinced you that you should wait at least a year before trying to start a family. Women getting pregnant at 36 was not a big deal. Look at all the famous people having babies after 35.  You could do it. You’re healthy. Read more

Over 40 With a Preschooler? Mom, You’re a Rockstar

As a mom over 40, it finally happened. Someone asked me if my daughter was my granddaughter. I didn’t faint as I anticipated I would. I just looked at my daughter and smiled knowing that I belong to that awesome category we call, older moms. My pediatrician referred to me as a geriatric mom. I received this amazing label because I had my child after age 40. My age automatically indicates that late nights end at 11 pm. Open house invitations fill my mailbox in the month of June. Most of my friends spend their days preparing for the empty-nest stage. My social media feeds flood with graduation photos, scholarship awards, and college freshman pictures.  So, when I post a pic of my darling four-year-old picking strawberries, I remember that my life isn’t in sync with the other moms my age. Read more

Hagar, A Hero for Women Oppressed and Invisible

“And she had nothing to fall back; not maleness, not whiteness, not ladyhood, not anything. And out of the profound desolation of her reality, she may well have invented herself.”
-Toni Morrison, Sula.
The quote taken from the novel Sula by Toni Morrison depicts the inexpressible pain that most women of color shoulder daily. Because of the absence of safety within the traditional societal constructs, which protect their peers, women of color have had to name and invent themselves in a culture where their presence remains relatively invisible. To this end, it is no wonder that so much theological scholarship has been written about Hagar by African-American female scholars. Hagar, a desert matriarch, symbolizes a freedom birthed in oppression and the reward of obedience to an unseen God. Read more

Neither Male nor Female, Jew nor Greek: The Emergence of Racial/Ethnic Clergywomen in Predominately-White Denominations

 “The tyranny of hegemonic truth will have to be abandoned by those who treasure it and are privileged by it.”
-Alicia Vargas 
Everyone walks through the doors of the church with a cultural agenda believed to be
normative. Often the basis of that framework begins with one’s assigned gender roles
and, in America, expands to include class and race. For many people within the dominant group, other aspects of the paradigm will diminish, but that, unfortunately, is not the case for individuals without a dominant identity. Dual identity is the lens through which a woman of color sees the church. This duality structures her interactions within the ecclesiastical system, choosing neither gender nor race as the dominant framework. The duality of her presence in leadership can confuse people who may not fully accept her leadership in a cross-cultural context or who struggle with a non-male leader. Read more